Monkey slut is blown.

   I'm allergic to bad music and milk.

Insta: demdawg

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I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

(via pr1nce5sn0vie)

— 2 hours ago with 219175 notes


friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?

me: i don’t have money

friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay




(via trait)

— 6 hours ago with 159237 notes


having body hair annoys me but removing body hair also annoys me and also life, life annoys me

(Source: we-unhallowed, via jennyyoxoxo)

— 6 hours ago with 812968 notes


you think you’re a better kisser than me??? you think you’re a better cuddler? come over here and prove it punk

(via shareeanne)

— 6 hours ago with 385824 notes


brown eyes, blue eyes, green eyes, types of hazel eyes idc just as long as u know how to eat this pussy

(via shareeanne)

— 6 hours ago with 1235 notes
"women’s sexuality is something that i’m obsessed with. i think it’s weird that teenage girls know more about giving blow jobs than they do about masturbation. it makes me sick to my stomach that so many young girls think sex is just about a guy finishing."
elizabeth olsen [x]  (via beepboopboopbeep)

(Source: voxcopuli, via shareeanne)

— 6 hours ago with 32904 notes